It is said that it is unwise to meddle in the affairs of wizards. HOOT!!!! >
Usually, it's a wizard who says this, in a loud, clear voice. And in fact it is undeniably unwise to annoy any class of persons able to transform nearby ears into those of a donkey, for instance, or who can call down lightning with a mutter and a sidelong glance at the sky.
Coupled with the equally well-known propensity for wizards to bear fragile egos and quick if not downright volcanic tempers, most people are happy to leave the affairs of wizards studiously undiscussed and entirely unmeddled.
But it is also true that if there is any one class of persons who find themselves forced to meddle in the luggage, if not the actual affairs, of wizards, it is that of the proprietors of gambling houses. Wizards do love a game of chance, especially when they can insure that chance itself is rendered cooperative if not positively subservient.
Oggbother's Effective Fixative, pictured throughout this narrative, is one such example of sorcerous 'enhancement' of various games of chance. Crafted and cast by Oggbother himself (Oggbother of Stromp, c. 1345-1463, ref. 'Strompish Wizards of Renown, pp. 13098 - 13120'), this very Fixative was, for a quarter of a century, the bane of many a gambling-house master.
This Fixative, which appears to be an ordinary jewel-box measuring approximately 6 inches tall by 6 inches wide and 6 inches deep, is in fact one of the most subtle contrivances ever created for the purpose of quickly charging any small, magic-neutral item with a powerful (but temporary) thaumic redundance spell -- in other words, this box creates good luck charms.
So subtle was the enchantment that Oggbother was able to arrive at any of dozens of opulent gambling houses, bring his Fixative past tens of powerful warding spells and the gambling hall's own staff of wizards, charge some baubles with his own luck spells, and proceed to rake in vast sums of cash, all while bearing a most innocent and mild expression.
Oggbother's Fixative was routinely inspected for any sign of enchantment, and each time it was passed over for more suspicious-looking acoutrements. Indeed, the runes that decorate the case, though handsome, are little more than low-level cantrips and sigils that identify the case as a gift from the House of Brohm to the House of Stromp.
But inside the case, concealed with a spell whose precise nature is unknown even to this day, lurked the heart of Oggbother's Fixative, in the form of an electromotive quantum hex repeater, shown below for the first time since the collapse of the concealment spell!
The repeater, which stills bears and periodically emits a weak luck-plane sympathetic emission, is just as Oggbother left it. Each filament of the final stage burst discharge assembly is poised to deliver a powerful charm to any neutral-charged object placed in the tray above!
Your Fixative will arrive, complete with plain glass 'jewels' that we guarantee to be magic-neutral, and are thus the perfect storage vessels for any luck-plane emissions the Fixative might project! You may of course store and charge your own jewelry, but our glass pieces will retain, on average, 35% more thaumic energy than terrestrial metals or jewels.
We of course make no claims that the Fixative retains its original powers, or that your purchase of the Fixative will result in your immediate acquisition of wealth, large houses, or rare automobiles. But you will acquire a unique work of art, and if your lucks changes for the better, well, who are we to say old Oggbother's spells have entirely faded?
The Fixative comes complete with glass luck-storage pieces, a User's Manual, and a thousand-year warranty covering thaumaturgic resonance and arcane temporal displacement. All this, for the paltry sum of $25.00, plus $5.00 for shipping and handling.
LATE NEWS! Oggbother's fixative is already SOLD! Sorry, but if you'd like
a similar item, just email me and I'm sure I can
come up with a similar item.
