Happy Little Post
Thursday, March 25th, 2010Wow. It’s been a while since I blogged.
A lot has happened. Some of it was good; MidSouthCon and the Darrell Award was a blast.
Some of it has been bad, and some of the bad was very bad. I’m still not over Zoe’s death. I can still see her little face. Of all the gut-wrenching memories I’m going to carry to my grave, her death will be among the weightiest.
And there are other things, things I’m not going to even mention here.
But the show, as they say, must go on.
That’s the part I’m having trouble with. The going on.
I don’t want to go on. What I want to do is this – I want to sit in front of the bloody TV and let its soothing, mindless parade of disjointed images and canned laughter smooth out every last fissure in my fevered, squirming brain.
That’s what I want. Passivity. Distraction. The perfect bliss of not dealing with things. The ecstasy of floating effortlessly on a high-definition sea of ever-changing procrastination.
That’s what I want. If I could plug myself directly into five years of reruns of The Daily Show and South Park and let a machine do my breathing, I’d jolly well sign up right this moment.
And that, boys and girls, is no way to promote a writing career.
I have to shake this funk and get back to work. I have to shake this funk and get back to work this weekend.
Will I?
Yes. I can’t let everything just slip away, after all the work of the last couple of years. I can’t, and I won’t.
I’m a little worried about the book that’s going to emerge from all this. I don[‘t even know if I can be funny, right now. I don’t know if people will still like Markhat if he stomps around in a snit for 300 pages.
I hope I can slide back into Markhat’s world and escape this one, from time to time. Rannit is a rough place, but for all the murderous halfdead and villainous sorcerers I’ve populated the place with, it’s still not half as mean as our sunny, freshly-swept little patch of the multiverse.
This is Thursday night. It’s taken me two hours so far to choke out this single whiny blog entry. That alone doesn’t bode too well for the weekend.
Still, it’s damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead. I hope a few of you will pester me Monday and ask how it went; my vanity never ceases to function, even if the rest of me does, and the last thing I want to do is look silly in public.
Oh, and 2010?
You SUCK.